Why Modern Life Might Be Making ADHD Worse - FT. Gossip Girl, Texting While Sick & Hyper-Connectivity
Confessions of an ADHD Coach – Watching Gossip Girl, Texting While Sick, and Why Modern Life Might Be Making ADHD Worse
I’m on my second back-to-back Gossip Girl rewatch this year — classic ADHD hyperfocus. And somewhere between Blair’s scheming and Chuck’s brooding and the clothes, I saw a moment that hit me like right in the ADHD Coach feels!
Dan cancels plans with Olivia Burke (Hilary Duff). He says, “I’ve got this flu-type thing, I’ll call you in a few days.” (Yes I know he's cancelling plans despite not being sick but bare with me!)
That’s it.
No over-explaining.
No excessive apologies.
No shame spiral.
No “I feel so bad, please don’t hate me.”
No RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) screaming in his head.
Just facts. He’s sick. He’s resting. He’ll reconnect when he’s better.
Watching that scene, I couldn’t help but feel like it came from another world. And in a way — it did.
Gossip Girl aired from 2007 to 2012. That’s over 15 years ago. I am a 1992 baby - a millennial and this is horridious! (Wild Child Quote - IYKYK!)
Before smartphones ruled our lives.
Before it was normal to reply to work emails in bed with a cold.
Before “working from home” became “you should be working always.”
Before we were expected to be reachable 24/7 — even when our brains or bodies are screaming for rest.
And here’s the thing: ADHD hasn’t necessarily gotten worse — but the world we live in has become less compatible with how ADHD works.
The question is - how sick do we need to be to constitute not needing to explain our need for complete disconnect and rest?!
Answer - We SHOULDN'T have to meet an unwritten rule or threshold which when you think about it is completely unreasonable!
ADHD in a 2025 World:
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Hyper-connectivity = Constant Interruptions. Phones, DMs, emails, notifications. ADHD brains already struggle with transitions and task-switching. Now we’re living in a world designed to constantly distract us.
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Remote Work = Invisible Boundaries. Being able to work from anywhere means many of us feel like we can never switch off. Even when we’re sick. Even when we’re burned out.
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“Always On” Culture = Shame Around Rest. Hustle culture has turned rest into a luxury instead of a necessity. For ADHDers, that guilt hits even harder. Many of us already struggle with low self-esteem, imposter syndrome, and people-pleasing — all of which ramp up when we try to rest.
ADHD Takeaways From Dan’s Flu Scene:
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You’re allowed to cancel without guilt. Being unwell — mentally or physically — is a valid reason to stop, full stop.
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You don’t owe everyone an essay or reason. “I’m not well, I’ll reach out when I can” is enough.
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Rest isn’t lazy — it’s a recovery tool that is part of the 'work'. ADHD brains burn fuel faster. We NEED recharge time. We aren't Robots - we can't be on 100% of the time!
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You’re not a bad friend/partner/employee if you take a beat. You’re just human - why is it un-expectable to not want to look at your phone or use our very little capacity to sit and type messages back and forth! If you have a migraine you go in to a dark room and sleep - why would I do the opposite?
Coaching Insight: ADHD, RSD, and the Fear of Letting People Down
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria makes us feel like any boundary or cancellation will lead to someone being upset with us. We over-apologise. We try to do too much. We fear being seen as unreliable. But ironically, when we ignore our own limits, we become less dependable — because we’re running on fumes. Hello Burnout and the Energy Overdraft!
Let Dan Humphrey be your flu-resting, boundary-setting inspo. You don’t need to be reachable 24/7 to be worthy. You don’t need to work while you’re sick to be valuable.
And maybe — just maybe — you don’t need to finish everything today.
Even Gossip Girl can wait.
xoxo
Heidi #ConfessionsOfAnADHDCoach