Ghosted, Blocked & Blindsided: ADHD Villains and Reclaiming Your Worth

Ghosted, Blocked & Blindsided: ADHD Villains and Reclaiming Your Worth

So, let me tell you a story. One that starts with a ghost… not the Halloween kind, but the kind that leaves you spiralling, questioning your worth, and mentally drafting a Netflix docuseries on “The illusive Ghosters - WTF Just Happened.”

A guy I dated in 2023 randomly slid into my inbox out of nowhere.
We’d had a connection back then. Flirty Vibes, Interest, and relationship potential. I even travelled (which is a big deal for me) to see him. I made  the time. Spent money, put in the effort. And then… radio silence. Classic ghosting, without reason.

Fast forward to now:
He sends a message to “apologise” – apparently, he’d been seeing someone else (whilst we had already booked and planned for me to come and see him, and didn’t know how to tell me!)

And THEN...
Before I could even respond?
Blocked.

Poof. Gone again.
Ghosted... TWICE. LIKE SIR?! WHAT WAS THE REASON?

And you better believe my ADHD brain did not take that lightly. Oh no. The inner ADHD Villains reared their ugly heads, my nervous system and regulation felt like they were on overdrive - a hangover without the party!

🧠 The ADHD Villains Who Crashed the Aftermath

Let’s unmask them:

🧛♀️ Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)

Whispering things like:

“You’re too much/not good enough.”
“Of course he left.”
“You made it up – he never really liked you anyway.”

RSD feeds off uncertainty and perceived rejection. It doesn’t care if it was logical. It feels like abandonment? Cue emotional meltdown.

🕵️♀️ The Overthinking Detective

Armed with a magnifying glass and zero chill:

“What did I miss?”
“Was I delusional?” "Did he ever even care?"
“Did I make him uncomfortable? Did I say too much?”

It’s that spiral of needing answers we’ll never get – and yet our brains crave closure like it’s oxygen.

👻 The Ghost Whisperer

Trying to make his behaviour make sense:

“Maybe he was overwhelmed.”
“Maybe he did care, but didn’t know how to handle it.”
“Maybe it was hard for him too.”

Nope. We are not romanticising emotionally unavailable behaviour anymore. There isn't a reason to justify his behaviour/lack of honesty here! 

💥 But here's how I've reframed it:

He didn’t reach out to offer real closure.
He reached out to soothe his own guilt.

That’s not vulnerability, or genuine concern for having hurt someone,
That’s a guilt dump. More proof that he doesn't consider others. I wonder if the other girl knew he picked me up from the airport, and went out to lunch?! 

And then he ghosted again – because once he hit “send,” he was done. Meanwhile, I was left holding all the emotional admin.

🧵What I Did Instead of Spiralling:

Because to be honest: the spiral started. The anger kicked in. The RSD and overthinking really hit! But then I called on my ADHD Detective Toolkit:

✨ I Named the Villains.
When you see them, you can disarm them. (Name it, to Tame it)

✨ I Got it OUT of my system.
I wrote the response I wanted and sent it. He’d never read it. But it was important for me that I got an opportunity to say the things I needed to say. Not for him. For me.

✨ I Reminded myself of the FACTS.

- I showed up with honesty.

- I was clear and open.

- I didn’t cause this.

- I’m not too much.

- I lost some time but at least I went for it - I believe that I will find the right person!

✨ I Blocked back with love.
Not out of pettiness. Out of peace. I choose clarity, not confusion. I don't need another message in 2 years with another guilt dump! He doesn't deserve access to me!

💖 If You’ve Ever Been Ghosted, Blocked, or Left Dangling in Uncertainty…

Let me tell you something I know in my bones:
You are not too intense, too emotional, too fast, too neurodivergent.

You are not unloveable.

You are someone learning how to love and be loved while managing a brain that processes rejection like an earthquake. It can be daunting and feel vulnerable.

But despite all of that? That’s heroic.

You don’t need to shrink to be chosen.
You don’t need to decode vague text messages for crumbs of connection.
You don’t need closure from people who never deserved access to your kind diverse heart in the first place.

🧩 ADHD Detective Debrief

Quick Stitch Strategy for Reclaiming Your Power After Rejection:

   ✅ Write the unsent message (say it ALL) - Journal or send them a message back

   ✅ Name your ADHD Villains as they pop up

   ✅ Reaffirm what you know about yourself (bonus: have a list ready!)

   ✅ Reach out to your people – share, laugh, vent, don’t isolate

   ✅ Make a Green Flags Only list for future connections

   ✅ Block with peace and power. Protect your heart and brain space.

Final Thought 💬

You will build connections & love again.
You will be loved fully, safely, honestly.

Not because you shrink yourself.
But because someone will finally show up ready for the whole you.
Messy. Magic. Neurosdiverse and all.

Until then?
We get to embrace being single and selfish! We can work on ourselves, our mindset, and grow!
We appreciate our worth and set boundaries.
We stop apologising for being “too much.” and start reframing it as we heard that the other person here probably wants 'LESS', and thats not us!
And we let the ghosts float away, unbothered, no more haunting here!