Understanding the Burnout Recovery Ratio

Confessions of an ADHD Coach: Understanding the Burnout Recovery Ratio

Read Time: 4 minutes | Written by: Heidi Smith from Neuro-Stitch

Currently hyperfocusing on: Stacey Solomon cleaning and organising... I am trying to get back in to the cleaning rhythm - and have been busy trying to create some new systems and routines behind the scenes! 

Hey Hey, Neurobuddies! 🌟

Have you heard about the "Burnout and Recovery Ratio". Well. If you’re like me, juggling ADHD and AuDHD, you know how easy it is to accidentally use up your spoons and go in to what I like to think of the 'energy overdraft', Sometimes without even realising it! Spoon (energy) management and burnout go hand in hand and for me it is one of the things that I have struggled with most in the past couple of years.

To be honest, the past few years have been hard... I have gone through a lot of big life changes, not to mention the fact I am still a relatively 'new' self-employed business owner! I have had to learn and build a whole range of new processes to run my business whilst navigating/managing my ADHD.... and despite having 10+ years trained as a Business and Professional Administrator, also supporting others as an ADHD specialist Virtual Admin (which to be honest I enjoy and I am good at!), the reality is that my ability to transfer all these amazing skills and apply them to my own work seems to be something my brain hasn't been able to get it's head around! It's been too busy worrying about everything it 'needs' to do, meaning I have struggled to switch off or make any time to just be HEIDI! So right now this ADHD Coach is getting back to basics and working hard to get out of the ENERGY OVERDRAFT and minimise my BURNOUT & RECOVERY RATIO!

What is... The Energy Overdraft?

I’ve always been the type to say "yes" to everything. I am a self confessed people pleaser.... I would happily put everyone else before myself because in my mind they were more important! But by doing this, and forgetting to keep any spoons back for myself - I have been neglecting ME and often have a lot less energy day to day than I should! But in true ADHD fashion... I push through and burn the candle at all ends! In fact I might as well use a flamethrower and melt the damn candle because there are no spoons to be had ANYWHERE! This is where the Energy Overdraft comes in, when you push and continue to keep using spoons that you don't have for that day to go above and beyond/push yourself to silly limits. Like with money, you can borrow some extra by dipping into your overdraft... but if you keep borrowing extra from your invisible overdraft pot, the further you build up your debt. Overdrafts are something that you need to payback the next month, so if you borrow too much you get stuck in a vicious cycle where your pay will pay off the overdraft but then you might not have enough for the rest if the month! This is the same with your energy, if you keep borrowing extra spoons without taking the time to recharge and replenish the energy overdraft you are running on empty, and this is where overwhelm, burnout and executive dysfunction comes in - all of which makes it harder to look after yourself and manage your ADHD/AuDHD. 

Sabotaging Myself with a Smile

People-pleasing is a huge part of my story and if you have a similar type of neurospicy brain I know you will understand. Saying "yes" to others often means saying "no" to myself - but I recognise the impact it might have but it's almost a compulsion that I have to help. Kindness, Love, Empathy are hugely important to me - they are my biggest strengths. But It’s like my empathy and kindness turn into saboteurs, convincing me that I can handle just one more thing. But when that “one more thing” becomes ten more things, I end up overwhelmed and in a burnout cycle. And the population there? Just me, absolutely exhausted, struggling to do things day to day before my brain and body force me to rest - and I end up curled up in bed for days, missing out on life.

Impulsivity, my interest based nervous system, people pleasing and passion mean I often overcommit and then suffer the consequences. My neurospicy brain doesn't connect the dots.... its missing the automatic RATIONALITY switch where I can take time to analyse my capacity, factor in my needs, and see where I can push things back or say no to a proposed plan so that I can balance my spoons but do as close to everything I want as possible!

But my brain is a challenge... and despite understanding how my brain works, and the fact I help others do this ever single day - I still keep pushing to accommodate 'extra work' or let my busy & impulsive brain get the better of me by seemingly 'forcing me' to keep going without stopping, delegating or asking for help & support. The "Energy Overdraft," is a high-interest loan which takes a bloody long time to pay back and recover!

Late Diagnosis and the Burnout Cycle

Being a late-diagnosed, millennial woman with internalised symptoms of AuDHD and ADHD, I spent most of my life in a perpetual state of overwhelm & burnout without even knowing it. Doctors didn’t recognise my symptoms as ADHD, but thought that my mental health was to blame. I was 'Anxious', 'Limited', 'Not Pushing Hard Enough' to overcome the mental health challenges that they misdiagnosed and therefore I would never fully get to a place where I functioned really well for more than a month or two. So when I finally got diagnosed with ADHD and started learning about how my brain worked, small lifestyle changes I started making had a big impact and one of the biggest things was understanding this idea that I (this is just my experience) will get burnt out more quickly - especially when it comes to social situations/new experiences etc. 

The burnout recovery ratio is different for everyone, and even for me I can bounce back faster sometimes and recover more quickly than others. For many people, a busy day might mean a good night’s sleep and they’re back at it the next day. But for me? One intense activity can mean 2-3 days of recovery. It’s like I’ve run a marathon, and my body and brain need serious downtime to recharge. And if I ignore this ratio, the consequences hit hard—sleeping whole days away, feeling overstimulated by noise and lights, and withdrawing from social interactions - going back into a burnout.

The Impact of Overstimulation

Overstimulation is one of the ADHD villains. Lights, sounds, and even conversations can become overwhelming. When I’ve pushed too hard, it feels like my brain is on fire, every nerve ending on high alert. This often leads to me to become intensely emotional and compassion fatigued—where my capacity to care for others and myself dissapears because I haven’t been able to practice selfcare and recharge to take care of myself. It’s a vicious cycle, and one that’s tough to break. This is one of the biggest struggles for me every single day!

Learning to Manage My ADHD Mode

Managing my energy and ADHD mode is a constant work in progress and despite being a coach - I have to work at it every single day. I still fall off the wagon, and sometimes it can take me ages to realise (hello impaired self awareness!). But here are some strategies I’ve found helpful:

1. Setting Boundaries: Learning to say "no" is crucial. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about self-preservation.
2. Planning Recovery Time: After a big event or a busy day, I schedule 2-3 days of lighter activities. This downtime is non-negotiable.
3. Mindful Scheduling: I try to avoid back-to-back commitments. Spacing out activities gives me breathing room to recover.
4. Self-Care Rituals: Regular self-care activities like yoga, meditation, and reading help me recharge.
5. Peak Spoon Management: On days when my energy levels are higher, I still pace myself to avoid the crash that follows overexertion.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

The most important lesson I’ve learned is self-compassion. It’s easy to feel frustrated when I can’t keep up with others or when I’m stuck in bed recovering. But understanding and accepting my brain and bodies different needs, and sometimes the limitations it has been a game-changer for me. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to take time for myself. And it’s okay to say "no" without guilt! 

And this is your reminder - If anyone has a problem with this, then they are not likely to be people you want around because they don't have your best interest at heart! You wouldn't ask someone with a broken leg to 'ignore it' and run a marathon anyway! It's the same thing when it comes to managing our neurospicy brain's needs. 

So, Neurobuddies, remember this: You are not alone. Prioritising the Burnout Recovery Ratio that suits you is an essential part of your well-being and spoon management. Be kind to yourself & practice self-compassion so you can live your best life!

You've Got This! Heidi xo 🌟💪